Hey hey everyone!
So, as you guys might remember I have told you before I was feeling kinda down in what the content of my blog is concerned..
Truth is, I want to inspire people. Not to be famous…or known…or loved by a large amount of people…but because I truly want to inspire people! The way I wish I had been inspired when I was younger…
I want to know that I am helping someone out there, even if it’s just none person! One of the best feelings I have is when I just helped someone and know I made their day a little better…it makes me feel so so happy…you have no idea…
I try to portray a very positive image…but sometimes that just isn’t easy!!! I talked about this with my two best girlfriends yesterday, C. and T. and they both said I was being silly…and deep down I know I am…but still I can’t manage to stop feeling this way..and I feel like a hypocrite!
Thing is…some time ago..someone I know (in real life) called me in an intoxicated state saying horrible things about me…about my relationship with my Mr..and to be honest I don’t even remember most of the things…but one of them stayed with me..this person said I look like a “killer whale” (and that my Mr couldn’t possibly love me because I’m “disgusting”). I know it’s stupid to feel this way…but ever since I was told that by this person, I’ve been feeling so…freaking…self…conscious!!! To the point where I find myself not wanting to eat and then force myself to have lunch because I don’t want people to realize how I’m feeling…
It’s bad…it’s making me feel like I’m a failure…like somehow because I’m curvy and have hips and boobs and yes even some cellulite, that makes me less than other girls…and I feel like a hypocrite because here I am trying to empower girls, curvy girls, who feel the same way…and yet I’m feeling it too!!! Isn’t that ironic???
I truly believe beauty has nothing to do with size…I really do!!! But I find myself thinking I’m ugly because of what this hateful person said! I’m trying…trying not to let it affect me..not to let it throw me back into an eating disorder…but it’s hard…it’s fucking hard guys!!!
Nevertheless…it has helped me realize what my way is…what The Austrian Rose’s way is…I want to empower girls..curvy girls…skinny girls…GIRLS!!! And I decided, instead of letting myself get down by this…feeling like a hypocrite or fake…I’m going to go through this with you guys! I’m going to share how I feel…let you know it is ok to feel down sometimes..heck everyone feels ugly sometimes (period anyone?) and it’s no shame to admit it!
I believe there are a lot of other girls out there who feel alone because they are shaped differently…and I want you all to feel free to write me..e-mail me…tweet me..anything!!! I want us all to have a good and positive body image…and I want us to get it together! It’s a hard way, yes…it is…but I think it will be worth it in the end!
I will of course still write about other stuff…but I want this to be a positive body image blog as well…and I hope you all will still visit my little blog..and go on this journey together!
What do you think?